Ultimate List of Ways to Break a Perfectly Good Glass Bong

We’ve all been there before… In love with our beautiful, reliable glass piece and then one day she gets broken… or even worse… shattered.  Most of the time when a glass bong breaks it can’t be repaired.  The lesson to learn here is don’t break your bong… ever.  Because then it most likely won’t work again.  Although that lesson right there is an extremely valuable one we’re going to keep the wisdom flowing here because the different ways that bongs have been broken over the years are also lessons to learn from themselves.  So in an effort to create more awareness and share more knowledge about caring for these beautiful glass creatures we’ve compiled an ultimate, ongoing list of ways to break a perfectly good bong that hopefully everyone will learn from and avoid.  Proceed with caution and proceed only if thoughts of bongs breaking don’t hurt you deep down inside.  Also, feel free to add some additional ways in the comments.

Ways to Break a Perfectly Good Glass Bong

1. The Bottom Clip – This happens more than you think. This is when you finish using your bong and right as you’re putting it back on the table you clip the bottom (base) of the bong on the actual surface you’re attempting to place it on.  When this happens a huge chunk of the base falls out and then all your bong juice spills onto the floor and sometimes your clothes.  Always sucks and never gets better.  This is just one way to break a perfectly good bong.
2. I’m with Stupid – Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how careful you are. The people around you are completely out of your control and you just have to accept this.  Like that time in college when my roommate, who loved playing basketball in the house, knocked my other roommate’s Roor into a table leg with his basketball and it broke in pieces splattering its water all over.  There was also that time when said basketball playing roommate’s glass pipe was borrowed by a neighbor, without owner’s permission, for a parking lot smoke and then dropped and broken right there in the lot.  Sometimes things are just out of your control and those are 2 other ways to break a perfectly good bong.
3. The Healthy Relationship – There was this one time I was hanging out in my bachelor pad with a special someone. We had just finished ripping the glass green machine and one thing lead to another.  We, still being on the couch, managed to somehow hit either the coffee table or the bong itself and that was that.  I didn’t see anything but I heard the noise, the subsequent splash and smelled the result. It was a sad sad moment but not sad enough to throw us off course.  After less than a millisecond of mourning the game was back on and despite it being a very sad time in history I remember us both still feeling pretty good.  I could be on to a broken bong remedy here.
4. The Badge – This is pretty close to a worst case scenario. Let’s take it back to the college days again.  With neighbors and roommates doing how should we put this… unthought-through things it was only a matter of time before others noticed, including local police.  Our genius neighbor was having another brilliant parking lot smoke and got pinched just like that.  By today’s standards not that big a deal but you youngsters and hippies have no clue what prohibition was truly like in the south back then.  Despite us being on a college campus even a seed or a stem landed you in jail – no medical cards, no civic citations and definitely no recreational.  On top of that the police would also notify the university which was another mess to deal with.  Anyway the arresting officer started gathering everything up, accidentally spilled bong water on his hands, got startled and dropped the piece on the concrete.  And that right there friends is another way to break a perfectly good bong.
5. The Handy Man – Arguably the best kind of glass bong you can get is one that’s 100% glass including glass to glass connections. Every once in a while though you come across a glass bong that has a female downstem held in place with a rubber part, plastic or similar.  If a small part of the downstem breaks you know… like from any of the above mentioned methods then there’s bad news and good news there.  Bad news:  You just chipped your downstem bro.  Good news: Downstems are replaceable and cheap.  Unfortunately, those who have the knowledge to change out a downstem don’t always have the skills, tools, experience or patience needed in order to do so successfully.  I’ve seen it before where the aspiring handyman not only destroyed the bong but also got injured from the broken glass.  Pay attention guys, that’s another way to break another perfectly good glass bong.
6. The Toss & Smash – This should go without saying but it doesn’t matter how high or drunk you are. You should never be so lazy that you can’t hand the bong to the next person.  On that note, if you’re unable to simply pass the bong to the next person it’s never ok to toss the bong instead.  Yes, bongs have been broken from being tossed.  Another dumb way to break your precious piece.
7. The Bad Shopper – Whenever I’m piece shopping I never ever ever want to touch the glass even when it’s time to check out. I let them carry it to the counter, take it apart, wrap it up, bag it, etc.  I don’t ever want to handle anything until I pay for it and it’s mine.  No idea why, it’s just the way I am in stores with breakables.  Others on the other hand can’t seem to resist and touch everything within reach as if it’s so much cooler if it’s actually in their hands.  Well, this is when accidents happen my friend.  I’ve been in a store where a shopper accidentally dropped a piece.  That right there is the fastest way on earth to break YOUR own bong – breaking it first before you pay for it and then having to buy the broken bong parts afterwards.  Hey, you break you buy.  It’s like time-traveling and breaking your own bong before you ever owned it man.
8. The Damn Cat (Again) – Need I say more? Sometimes they do it by accident while showing off their grace and agility.  And other times they stare you down hard first, then wait for you to say, ”Don’t you dare” and then they knock it over while still staring directly in your eyes.  To be honest there’s probably a broken bong story for every animal on earth but cats are just unique so we’ll go with them.  If you’re ever in the mood for some serious disappointment leave your bong out around an animal.  That’s a great way to have it broken.
9. The Car Accident – No, not an actual car accident. Hopefully nobody out there is driving under the influence but sometimes the car is a cool spot to chill in.  It’s away from the rest of the world, has its own tunes, has its own climate and has room for just enough people.  Bongs break all the time in cars.  It can happen if you’re holding it at the wrong angle when shutting the door, sometimes from goofing off or if there’s a fumble during a pass.  Also, there are barely any level surfaces in a car making it hard to set it down on something sturdy.  If you’d like your car to have a fresh bong water scent go ahead and get distracted while smoking in a car cause that’s a great way to break a bong.

You’ve reached the end of our ever expanding list of ways to break a glass bong.  Check back in the future as we’re constantly adding to it.  There are more thoughts that we’re still putting together on this one but again, if you’ve got any suggestions feel free to drop a comment or contact us.  We can keep you anonymous if you prefer.